


A Piece Of Cake

by absolutely_mendokusai



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Birthday, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29505735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absolutely_mendokusai/pseuds/absolutely_mendokusai
Summary: In which Kokichi refuses to tell Shuuichi when his birthday is.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 81





	A Piece Of Cake

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by a friend I once had who refused to tell anyone when her birthday was.

On his birthday, Ouma got Shuuichi an old edition of an Edogawa Ranpo book. Old enough to be out of budget for a high school student. 

Shuuichi inspected the book carefully. “Where did you get this?"

"I didn't steal it, if that's what you're asking,” replied Ouma. “Giving you stolen goods would make you my accomplice, and I wouldn’t want my beloved Saihara-chan to get in trouble.”

“I wouldn’t get in trouble if I didn’t know they were stolen.”

Ouma crossed his arms and pouted.“When someone gives you a gift, you’re supposed to say ‘thank you’, you know. Who cares where I got it from? You like it, don’t you?”

From what Shuuichi gathered, Ouma didn’t usually take things from good people, so hopefully this was from a private collector and not some poor bookseller. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. “It’s nice, but for future birthdays, you can get me something more simple, okay? I’m not going to be able to get you something close to the value of this for your birthday.” 

Now that he thought about it, when was Ouma’s birthday? He never asked. 

Ouma leaned back in his chair. "I don't have a birthday."

"Everyone has a birthday," Shuuichi replied. 

"I wasn’t born though. I just popped into existence one day"

Oh no. This was going to be one of those things Ouma made needlessly complicated for no reason than the fun of it, wasn’t it?

"Well, then what day did you pop into existence?”

Ouma tilted his head in thought. “Hm… I don’t remember.”

"Why would you lie about your birthday? It’s the day where you're the center of attention. You love that."

"Exactly! I’m the center of attention every day! So birthdays are useless to me. You know, if you want to give me tribute, you can do it anytime, Saihara-chan."

"But..." He wanted a day to celebrate Ouma.

Ouma rolled his eyes. "Fiiine.” He jumped up. “Today's my birthday too! We should buy a cake together and share it!"

Shuuichi did buy Ouma cake, because he felt the need to say thank you somehow, but he kept the conversation in the back of his mind.

\---

Ouma had taught him how to lockpick one day, insisting it would someday be necessary to steal evidence (and didn’t listen when Shuuichi tried to explain concepts like search warrants and ethics.) He also knew Ouma found it fun when Shuuichi tried to figure him out, to try to find the truth amongst the lies. So the only thing he could do was break into the staff room and find his file.

While he knew Ouma had sneaked in there before and gotten away with it (or at least that’s how Shuuichi assumed he knew so many ‘fun facts’ about the students here), Shuuichi constantly watched over his shoulder as he opened the file cabinet. Sure, Hope’s Peak students could get away with a lot of shit, especially when it related to their talent, he still didn’t want to explain to a teacher that he was breaking into the files because his boyfriend refused to tell him his birthday. 

Shuuichi opened the drawer and found one labeled “Ouma Kokichi.” He grabbed it, took a deep breath, and opened it.

Nearly the entire file, sans Ouma's name and talent, was blacked out, with a familiar purple doodle sticking his tongue out on the side.

Of course it wasn't going to be that easy.

* * *

"He's a Cancer," said Harukawa, when he brought it up at lunch..

"He seems more like a Gemini to me," said Shirogane. While she didn’t usually sit with his group, apparently astrology was an interest of hers, and she was eager to give her opinion. “They’re known for being tricksters.”

"I have no idea what you two are talking about," said Momota, "but I can assure he was born on April's Fools."

"I suppose Cancer and Virgo are compatible," Shirogane said. 

"I was joking," said Harukawa.

"No, no. You bring up a good point,” said Shirogane. “Gemini is one of the least compatible signs for Virgo. He could be born on the borderline, I suppose."

"Isn't Aries the one everyone hates?" said Momota.

“You’re an Aries,” said Shirogane.

“Really? Shit.”

"I don't think astrology is reliable enough for this," said Shuuichi.

"You’ll be surprised how accurate it is," said Shirogane. “For example, Aries are known for being confident and impulsive, just like Momota-kun. Virgos, like you Saihara-kun, are known for being analytical and kind, but are also shy and critical of themselves. It fits both of you perfectly, doesn’t it?

“No, it doesn’t,” said Ouma, popping out of nowhere. “Saihara-chan isn’t shy. He can be confident when he needs to! Also, someone who’s analytical wouldn’t even think about using star signs to guess someone’s birthday. You’re really that desperate already?”

“I don’t have much to work with,” said Shuuichi.

Ouma grinned. “So, which personality type have you all diagnosed me with?”

"We think you’re a Cancer," said Harukawa.

Ouma's eyes sparkled. "Oh! Cancer! That one does sound like it would fit me! What's the time period for it?"

"June 21st to July 22nd."

Ouma blinked and tilted his head. "... Really?" 

That reaction. "You are a Cancer!" shouted Shuuichi, standing up and pointing at him.

"It's one thing if the killer insults me, but for my dear Shumai to say it?" Tears filled his eyes. "You’re so mean." Ouma sighed. Fine, you’re right. I’m Cancer! I’m a rapidly spreading, dangerous disease. Does… Does that mean I’m going to multiply?” His eyes grew wide. “I need to figure out how to destroy my clone before he can kill me!" He sprinted out of the room to who knows where

“You know, if his birthday is June 21st, he could still be a Gemini,” added Shirogane. “They are the tricksters of the zodiac.”

* * *

“How am I supposed to guess it without any hints?” asked Shuuichi as they walked back to the dorms together.

“You got it down to a 30-day period. That’s pretty good. I got it!” Ouma snapped his fingers. “You could ask Komaeda-chan to pick a random number! I’m sure he’ll get it right!”

“I’m not going to use Komaeda-chan for his luck.”

“He likes being used, he wouldn’t mind.”

“I mind.”

“Stop being so down, Saihara-chan. You can just celebrate me every day.”

“But then it’s not special.”

“Really?” Ouma hooked his arm around Shuuichi’s and snuggled right up to him. “I think every day I spend with you is special.” 

* * *

Shuuichi got him a present on June 21st anyway, a box of Yu-Gi-Oh cards which was expensive, but probably only a fraction of the totally legally obtained book Ouma had gotten him.

“I see! This is the last day of the time period! You could be a month late, you know. That’s not very nice.” Ouma tore open the first pack of cards. “The smartest thing to do would’ve been to give it to me in the middle of the month, wouldn’t it?

“Shirogane-san thinks you’re a Gemini, and Gemini apparently can also be born on June 21st.”

Ouma paused in looking at the cards. “Two signs can be born on one day?”

“Apparently it depends on the time you’re born. I know it’s all fake, like you said, but there’s no harm in entertaining her theory. Geminis are known tricksters, apparently, and that fits you… Ouma-kun?”

Ouma had placed the cards on the table. He leaned back in his chair. “Astrology's a pretty good lie, you know? I bet people who have good horoscopes feel great about themselves the whole day. It’s something I need to get into.”

“....Is today your actual birthday?”

“Of course not. Someone as boring as Shirogane-chan getting it correct?” He looked down at the desk. “Never. But, if you’re too lazy to figure it out the answer on your own though, you can give me a present on this day every year from now on. It can be my pretend birthday.”

“... Happy pretend birthday," said Shuuichi.

"Thank you. That means you'll buy me cake, right?"

**Author's Note:**

> If Kokichi is intended to be a Gemini though, then doesn't it seem like the safe code was made for him, considering horse is one of the kanji for his name? The things you figure out about the game writing mediocre fluff. 
> 
> Also I tried to find old editions of Edogawa Ranpo books for price comparison and all I got was Bungou Stray Dogs merch. There’s someone out there interested in Japanese literature with no clue about anime who’s probably very confused about the Google results. Also I have not watched Bungou Stray Dogs but going off of pictures alone, I think I love Ranpo.
> 
> If anyone wants to yell at me about Kokichi, my tumblr is [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/absolutely-mendokusai).


End file.
